Today is our one year anniversary of when we got engaged-on my roommate’s birthday, no less. I’m only *slightly* sorry I kinda stole her thunder that year…. I love you, Grettel!
Anyway, I know it’s a little out of the order I’ve had for writing down our story (does anyone even care that I’m writing it?), but dudes. It’s our anniversary, and I HAVE to celebrate/commemorate somehow.
Let’s get one thing out in the open: my engagement was not a romantic affair. There were no flowers, no soft music, no flash mobs, no elaborate speeches. I did get a spider though, and you’ll hear about that in a minute. All in all, it wasn’t the proposal that dreams are made of, that much is true. But I think the more important thing is the fact that I actually got engaged (and later, married), and the mechanics of it all don’t matter half as much in the grand scheme of things.
Okay, let’s actually start the story.
Once we decided that we were going to get married, we started planning on getting married in December. That way, we would have all year to save money and prepare as much as we could, and we rationalized that family is usually in town during December, so it would be easier to get them to spare a day for us. Tanner discussed it with his mother, who promptly told him that December was actually NOT a great idea, because Christmastime is the most
wonderful stressful time of the year, and it would be more difficult to organize everything, get married, go on a honeymoon, and still enjoy Christmas. (Bless you, Terra. Bless. You.) Also, let’s be real. With Christmas so close, we probably wouldn’t get as many presents. (I know, I know, selfish, but presents are so helpful to newlyweds!!) We talked it over, and decided to plan for sometime around May.
So with the date officially unofficially set, and seeing as it was the middle of February, Tanner needed to pop the question SOON. When the question of rings came up, Tanner’s mother remembered that she had a ring from her grandmother, Tanner’s great grandmother. Again, we talked about it and decided that that ring would work out perfectly. I’ve always had a love for vintage things, this ring was a precious family heirloom, and it wouldn’t cost poor Tanner an arm, a leg, and our firstborn child.
The second week of February, I left for St. George, Utah to attend a theatre festival for a week. Originally, Tanner and I had planned to go to his grandmother’s boat over the weekend to hang out with his family and have a nice weekend away. Unfortunately, the St. George trip made that impossible, so I went to Utah and Tanner went to the lake. On my way home from St. George, Tanner and I were texting and he asked if I wanted to go to the lake the next weekend, because apparently his grandmother had some ‘stuff’ she had to do there. Later I learned that she really DID have things she needed to do, but I thought this was just a cover for his real intentions. I just knew I was getting engaged next weekend, and shared the news with everyone in the car.
Fast-forwarding to the next weekend, we made our way to Roosevelt Lake to meet up with his family. I was able to meet his grandma, and we had a lovely evening on the dock. While we were there, his mom got up and asked Tanner to come with her. We both got up to go, but she clarified that she just needed Tanner. I immediately got butterflies. She’s going to give Tanner the ring!!!!!!!!!!! I thought to myself. I tried not to look at the boat, but I couldn’t help myself. I took a quick peek just as I saw Tanner’s mom hand over a tiny white box. Now I knew without a doubt that I was getting engaged soon. We spent the rest of the evening together, and I pretended not to know about what had just happened.
The next morning, I got up and saw Tanner. He pulled me aside to tell me that, yes, he had the ring, and even though he wasn’t going to propose just yet, his mom felt I needed to see the ring in person to decide whether I wanted it or not. Tanner said he was going to go get it, and disappeared in the back room of the boat for about ten minutes. My heart was racing, my palms were sweating, and I was SO IMPATIENT WHY WASN’T HE SHOWING ME MY RING YET?!?!?!?!?!
He came back a few minutes later, and said he was in the bathroom. He avoided all my questions about the ring, and eventually I gave up. I would be seeing it soon anyway.
We went out to the dock, where his family was sitting. We joined them, and immediately he and his mom started texting. I felt super uncomfortable because I was worried that Tanner was telling his mom that I had been asking about the ring, and I wondered if I shouldn’t have done that. I looked back and forth between the two, watching his mother’s facial expression get more and more incredulous. Oh, great, I wasn’t supposed to ask about the ring. She hates me, I know it. What have I done? Ugh ugh ugh she’s not even officially my mother in law, and I’ve already screwed up. While I panicked over my apparent stupidity and impatience, Tanner got up and went to the boat without me. Tanner’s mother, grandmother, and I sat in silence until his mom asked if I wanted to go on a paddleboat ride with Tanner. I said that it would be fun, while secretly worrying that she was just trying to get rid of my face so she could enjoy the lake in peace for a bit. Tanner returned, and his mom announced that the two of us were going to go on a paddleboat ride. Tanner agreed, we got into the boat, and his mom snapped a picture of us.
|Low quality because this is a picture of a picture
from a picture on a phone. Figure that one out, dudes.
We paddled out in silence until I was sure we were out of earshot, and then I asked Tanner what was wrong. He’d been acting really weird all of a sudden, and I was worried I had offended his mom somehow, and I just. Needed. Answers.
“Nothing’s wrong,” he said in a voice that CLEARLY INDICATED THAT SOMETHING WAS WRONG.
“….Are you sure, cuz it sure seems like something’s wrong,” I said. “Also, is your mom okay? I’m worried I might have offended her somehow. Why were you guys texting each other?”
“No, you haven’t offended her, it’s just…. Okay. My mom wants me to propose to you today. Like, right now.”
Oh. Oh. Oh my sweet goodness, I am about to be Betrothed. My stomach did somersaults while I tried to maintain my composure. We talked about the pros and cons involving getting engaged in the next few minutes, the major issue being that he hadn’t asked my dad for permission. He wanted to ask him in person, especially since he’d only met him just once before and didn’t want to spoil my dad’s opinion of him. But on the other hand, we were practically engaged already, and it seemed silly to waste any more time.
During this time, I had been staring straight ahead and paddling as hard as I could, but I decided we should focus on each other and the conversation we were having. I stopped paddling, and looked over at Tanner just as a HUGE SPIDER
FACE. Now, I pride myself on not being afraid of spiders, but this was an exception. There was a huge spider on my beloved’s FACE. HIS FACE, PEOPLE. What if it bit him? What if it was radioactive? I can’t handle the responsibility of being Spiderman’s wife!
So I did the only responsible thing left to do, and screamed repeatedly. Tanner casually swiped the spider off his face and INTO MY SIDE OF THE BOAT. I continued screaming, and Tanner stomped the spider to death. He then tried to continue the conversation as if he wasn’t in mortal danger mere seconds ago. I, on the other hand, was still quite rattled, so I hyperventilated and mumbled such nonsense as, “such a… Big spider,” and “ohmygosh on your FACE.” Tanner eventually got tired of me reacting like a normal person and asked me to calm down. I took some deep breaths and eventually returned to normal.
We still hadn’t decided whether or not he should propose right then, but we DID decide that I should at least see the ring. Tanner pulled it out of his pocket, and I opened the box. Inside was a dainty white gold ring with a round, blue stone adorning the top. It shone beautifully in the sunlight, and made a star pattern appear on the stone. It was beautiful. I tried it on, admired it for a moment, and slid it off my finger. I awkwardly handed it back to Tanner, who held it in his hands, sighed, and said: “will you marry me?”
I shrugged, and said “Sure!”
Let’s take a brief moment to realize I had just shrugged off MY OWN PROPOSAL. AND THEN SAID ‘SURE’ LIKE SOME IDIOT. In my defense, however, ever since we had decided to get married, we would joke around and say stuff like: “hey, wanna get married sometime?” and then the other would say something like: “yeah, I guess. I’m not doing anything right now, anyway.” We never took these seriously. They were never real proposals, so I just assumed that this was the same thing! I was expecting something a little more elaborate, so the fact that Tanner had actually proposed went right over my head. Until I saw his face and realized he was serious. Then I quickly said, “I mean, YES! Yes, of course!!!” He put the ring back on my finger and we kissed.
Then we realized he hadn’t asked my father. Crap.
Tanner dialed his number, and as he stumbled over his words (he was a nervous wreck and it was the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen), I admired my beautiful new ring, snapped some pictures, and tried to process the fact that I was FINALLY going to get married.
Okay, I realize that saying FINALLY is a little dumb, considering the fact that A) I had just barely turned 19 a few weeks ago, and B) we’d been dating for only 5 weeks. But I’ve been wanting to get married since I was 12, so it felt like a long time to me. Cut me some slack.
My dad gave Tanner his blessing, and when Tanner told me, the tears came. This was really happening! We decided to hold off on calling everyone for a little bit, and began paddling back out.
Apparently, I’m just not allowed to have a nice moment ever, because this was the moment that my bladder decided it needed some attention too. So we paddled as fast as we could back to the docks, where Tanner’s mom was waiting for us. She looked at us expectantly as I jumped out of the boat and ran for the bathroom. I also had no idea what to say to everyone (I’m guessing that shouting “I’m ENGAGED, b*tches! wouldn’t have gone over well), and wanted a moment to myself to collect my thoughts, so it was the perfect crime. As soon as I walked out of the bathroom though, I was ambushed by my fiance (fiance. Not boyfriend anymore! Holy cow!), and we *officially* announced to everyone the happy news.
We went on a celebratory boat ride, where I finally called my parents.
I called my mom first, but she didn’t answer, so I tried my dad. He answered, and we reveled in the craziness of it all. Before he hung up, though, he said that he wanted to tell my mom the good news.
My mom called me back just minutes after I got off the phone with my dad, and I had to figure out a backup plan, fast. So I tried to casually ask her if we could stop by later that afternoon, and she said of course. The whole time I was talking to her, my new family looked at me like I was going crazy. What the heck was wrong with me, not telling her I had just gotten ENGAGED? After I got off the phone with her, I explained the situation, and they forgave me.
The rest of the day went by in a blur, as phone calls were made, a date was set, and preparations were begun. I was engaged to the boy I loved most, and we were completely unprepared for the next hectic 90 days.