Graduation

Well…. It finally happened. After six years of attending Heritage Academy, I walked across the stage at last and received my diploma cover. Still waiting on the actual diploma. (thanks, Heritage)
Guys, I’ve been a wreck this week. Flipping from feeling like: “yesss finally no more polos no more math class no more uniforms no more underclassmen no more being in high school BRING IT ON” to feeling like: “Oh no…. No, I can’t be graduating. I’m too young for this! I don’t know how to be an adult! I don’t know how to live without my friends! Help! Keep me close, please! I’m too scared! I love Heritage!”

And the mood swings… Oh, the mood swings. I’ve been in a full-on hormonal pregnant lady emotional state for the past three days. (no offense, raging pregnant ladies. Kisses!) For example, on Wednesday, right before Seminary graduation, I was talking to my mom and little sister about graduation, and was doing fine until I thought about this picture:

Which was taken wayyyyyy back in 8th grade, mind you, and not necessarily a precious picture that changed my life forever, but for some reason as soon as I thought about this picture the reality that I would probably lose contact with these girls & not be super close anymore broke through the foggy feelings and slapped me in the face, and pretty soon I had to excuse myself to my bedroom so I could attempt to pull myself together. So I sat down and bawled for a few minutes in my room, completely disregarding the fact that I had a graduation going on in about half an hour… 😛

Seminary graduation was pretty nice, even though I got the wrong diploma at first. I really missed my seminary teacher, though. That was the only part of seminary graduation that stung for me, really. My seminary teacher, Brother Sell, has been an incredible influence on my life. I don’t know what I would do without him, and I secretly hope beyond hope he moves to Thatcher to become an Institute teacher.
After seminary graduation, Andrew, Ryan, and I went to WalMart and frolicked about the aisles, being goofy and eventually ending up in a parking lot, dancing around to Queen songs. I love my boys. I’m going to miss them so much it’s crazy!

Then Thursday came. The awards ceremony was frightfully dull, save for a few things:
1) I got to sing the National Anthem, a dream of mine since I was a freshman,
2) I finally earned my Drama distinction,
and 3) I had two little performances onstage with my Drama class.
Other than that, it was a total snore. But I got to sit with my best friends, so it was survivable.

oh yeah… Our friend Emma also made us some seriously fab
flower crowns!

Then…. It Came. Graduation night.
I never got a graduation dress or anything, so I wore my favorite shorts and a button up shirt. I wasn’t feeling like dressing up, so I didn’t! And I do NOT regret that one bit. :^)
All throughout the ceremony, I sat in the back thinking “oh my gosh. Where has the time gone? I’m actually doing this…. Can’t I just not graduate & spend more time with my friends? Ughh this is too weird. I’m… Oh, no, I’m WALKING UP TO GET MY DIPLOMA. Is it too late to turn back & run? I… Oh, wow. I did it. I graduated. Heritage is just a memory now. I’m done.”
As soon as I sat down, the waterworks started. Maybe it’s because I didn’t get enough sleep the previous night, maybe I was genuinely this sad about graduating, or maybe my subconscious just REALLY wanted to embarrass me, because I was the only one crying & carrying on like a deranged person. Or, at least it seemed that way to me. If you, the person reading this, became a complete basket case at your graduation, please let me know and we can cry together. #buddies
Anyway, of course since I graduated, I HAD to get a bunch of pictures taken, so I present to you, Graduation Pictures: or, Pictures Of Me Crying On Various People.

CJ! Seriously such a sweet guy. He’s always so happy
& he gives great hugs. :^)

 In case you couldn’t tell, I took that stupid hat off as SOON as I sat down. That hat looks good on a grand total of nobody.

#wegraduated #finally

ugh I’m going to miss this kid.

This is actually one of my favorite pictures of the night.
Shea, you’re wonderful & I can’t wait to go to the movies with you! ;^)

 Oh yeah. Here are some pictures of my actual graduation, so you can see just how dumb that hat looks. And, you know, celebrate my graduation and whatnot.

Ah, Draven, I’m going to miss you. Thanks for being such a good
listener and being willing to let me vent when I need to. You’re a doll!

My bishop came! I thought that was too awesome.

Me & my “aunt” Shauna. :^)

Julia! I was so happy she came to see me graduate, I started crying
again.

 This picture stings me a little each time. Geneal has been my best friend, my confidante, and the best sister a girl could ask for, and I am leaving her. I have no idea why I’m doing that to myself, but I am. For some reason, this picture is also garnering a lot of “likes” on Facebook, and I guess people just really like my crying face or something. 😛

Me and my cute Nana

Oh, Ryan. We’re going to have to go on some crazy adventures
this summer. I’m gonna miss him.

My grandpa Roland surprised me and came to my graduation! I
can’t tell you how much that meant to me to see him there.
Love him.

Some of my favorite hooligans.

Suzy & I were YCL’s together a few years ago, and she was
the only one keeping me sane. I love hanging out with her!

This little dude was such a champ! I kind of took
over his birthday this year, and he didn’t seem to
mind one bit! In fact, he was happy to see a real
graduation, so win-win!

This chick. We’ve been through a LOT together, and I’m so
grateful we’ve been able to come out on top.

I’m not even going to bother telling you how much I’m going
to miss this boy.

We did it! 

I kind of adore Sarah with all my being. She’s
fabulous, and it’s been SUCH a treat
knowing her & making stupid jokes
with her.
*pop* MANATEE

It’s been a trippy few days, that’s for sure. It’s probably not going to sink in until I’m actually IN my new apartment though, knowing me.
ALSO! Today is my first Sunday in the Single’s Ward. Can you believe that?! So weird.

~Haeley

#TransformationTuesday

Once upon a time, I was in 7th grade.

Then, I went on to 8th grade. I gained a LOT of weight.

In 9th grade, I got a LOT cooler, as evidenced by this sassy picture:
10th grade rolled along, and I started to thin out, and got bangs. I was also rather sexy, and decided it was okay to pose with my sister.

11th Grade not only brought longer hair and shoes that were so hipster they weren’t stylish yet, it also brought my lovely sister, Savannah into the mix! She began Heritage that year in the 7th grade.

And now we come to 12 grade. It’s been a crazy, crazy ride, senior year…. The face says it all:

Excited, and still not sure what to expect. Who could have known I would begin this year with the longest hair I’ve ever had and finish it with the shortest hair I’ve ever had? (random, but interesting to think about)
I’m so grateful for these years, and I’m glad I have the opportunity to look back at these pictures, even if they bring back memories of awkward times. It’s kinda cool to see them in a timeline, no? Props to my mama for thinking to take these!

Sigh… Don’t you love #transformationTuesdays? :^)

~Haeley

The last Monday

First off, that sounded like a Nicholas Sparks novel. I didn’t mean it, I promise! Honest mistake.
Secondly, I feel like I should document each day of the rest of this week because, you know, my whole life is changing in three days. So naturally, the thing to do is write about your feelings, cuz that is important. The last time I did any sort of countdown to something school related was when I was waiting for 7th grade to begin! How bizarre is that? I don’t think 12 year old me ever thought about graduating…. And yet here I am! Ready to go out and graduate, and attend the single’s ward, and just… Grow up.

Yesterday, my friend McKenzie and I were driving and naturally talking about graduation when something hit me: I have absolutely no choice in this matter. I mean, if I wanted to be held back, I could probably do that, but I have to graduate at some point. It has to happen. And you know what?
It’s scary. It’s terrifying. But everyone has to go through it at some point, and it’s my turn. Yes, I still feel too young for it, but I also think I’m ready… To some extent. If not now, when? I keep telling myself. I don’t want to leave Heritage, but I also know I will go completely mental if I stay. I don’t want to lose my friends, that’s the problem. I love them.
There are some friends I will be okay with growing distant with- not to say I don’t love them, of course, but I know we’ll go our separate ways, and our lives will be wonderful, and it will be okay. I’ve accepted that. However, there are certain people (read: one person) I don’t think I can live without. And maybe that’s just my overly dramatic, teenager hormones speaking, but I am absolutely terrified about losing that certain person. That’s why I don’t want to leave.

Enough angsty, whiny rubbish. Here’s some news!

I found out today that I earned a scholarship from the Drama department at EA! Score!!

I also found out I missed the deadline for another scholarship. Boo! But at least I earned one scholarship, right? Find joy in all things. And don’t worry- I am completely satisfied with just that one scholarship. I couldn’t be more grateful.

Tomorrow I’ll treat you all to some pictures!

~Haeley

Sunday Thoughts: The End of an Era.

“We are daughters of our Heavenly Father,
Who loves us and we love Him.
We will ‘stand as witnesses of God
at all times, and in all things, and in all places’
As we strive to live the Young Women’s values, which are:
Faith 
Divine Nature
Individual Worth
Knowledge
Choice and Accountability
Good Works
Integrity
and Virtue.
We believe as we come to accept and act upon these values,
We will be prepared to strengthen home and family,
Make and keep sacred covenants,
Receive the ordinances of the temple,
And enjoy the blessings of exaltation.”
I remember, six years ago, standing up for the first time in Young Women’s and saying that beside other young women in my class. I couldn’t believe it- I had become a Young Woman. I was going to go through my teenage years in this program, and I was going to change a lot in the next six years. I guess I just didn’t know how much. 
Being in the Young Women’s program has changed me for the better in so many ways. I’ve made so many friends in this program, peers and teachers. I’ve learned that love is so abundant among sisters- not just blood relations, but among the sisters in my ward. 
We really have been there for each other through everything.
And my leaders? Gosh, they’ve been so wonderful. They’ve been like mothers to me- warm, compassionate, caring, and some of my best friends. I really don’t know what I would do without those leaders of mine. If you read this, be it one of my young women or one of my leaders- I LOVE you. I really, truly do. You’ve helped shape me in some way over the past six years, and I am so grateful for that. 
This Sunday was… Weird. It was my last Sunday not only in Young Women’s, but also this ward. As of next week, I will officially be attending the Single’s Ward! It’s fast, but I need to start growing up somehow, no? 
Saying the theme for the last time brought on a barrage of memories in true movie-montage style. From me saying it for the first time ever, to the first time in my ward, to saying it with each of my sisters as they entered Young Women’s. 
And yes, I totally cried. Just training for Relief Society! ;^)
What is the strangest thing about moving on from Young Women’s is that after this, Relief Society is all I will ever be a part of. I can’t re-start Young Women’s. I can’t go back to Primary and begin anew. I am now, and forever will be, a member of Relief Society. Sure, I may get callings elsewhere, but I am in Relief Society for good now! I know a lot of girls are afraid of entering Relief Society, but honestly? I couldn’t be more excited. I’ve always gravitated more towards adults anyhow, and now I will be one of them! Wow! It will be such a blessing to serve with so many wonderful women. I already know that together we will do great things. 
So although it is a bittersweet parting, it is a beautiful one. I am more ready than I think I am, and I will be blessed in my new ward. 
Here’s to adventures!
~Haeley

A love letter to my mommy, on this lovely day.

Hi Mom.

It’s me, your eldest daughter.

I’m writing in to tell you just how much I appreciate everything you do for me every time a school dance rolls around (I mean, I appreciate what you do every day, but I figured I’d make it specific).
We’ve been doing this for two years now, and it’s all about to end! Can you believe it? You’ve been there for every. Single. One. That’s eleven dances in two years!

(missing one Sadies and Senior Prom, but you get the gist.)

I’m incredibly needy and selfish. I haven’t really noticed how insufferable I can get during the days and weeks leading up to a school dance, but I’m sure I’ve been burdensome. And have you ever complained? No! You’ve been the most patient, loving, giving example I could have. I hope I can be even half as amazing when my own daughters go to their school dances!

Throughout each experience, you’ve been there. You’ve helped me plan, prepare, ask, answer, pick out a dress, and help me with my hair. You have no idea how much I appreciate this! You’ve kept me from going insane, and even if I’ve gotten a little snippy at you, you’ve been so, so wonderful despite my outbursts. 
Something I LOVE about you is how excited you’ve gotten for me for every dance. I remember jumping around in the kitchen with you, holding hands and screaming. Gosh, that was fun. I remember when we made a frantic dash to WalMart in order to help me ask someone to a dance within the next 20 minutes. And you’ve been there for me when things didn’t turn out so great. You’ve supported me, let me cry it out, and helped me when my dresses needed alterations. Did you ever hesitate? Nope! You’re remarkable, Mom. I really don’t know what I would do without you. I don’t have words enough to tell you how much I LOVE YOU! You’re just…. Golly, you’re the best. :^)
Can’t wait for this weekend! Thank you for being my best friend. 
Love,
~Haeley