I am a six year old boy.

Sometimes I think I am not actually the oldest in my family. Sometimes I am pretty much positive it’s actually Geneal who is the oldest, and I am permanently six. Case in point: Geneal stopped playing with Barbies wayyyyy longer than me (I was thirteen years old, thank you very much), and has just relatively been the more rational sibling. In case you feel the need for further proof as to why I am grotesquely backwards for my age, let me repeat to you a text conversation we had this morning. (I’m going to start from the beginning so you have a feel for how thoroughly weird I am.)

Me: I hate this show.

Geneal: Which one?

Me: Micky Mouse Clubhouse >.<

Geneal: Ohh… Yuck…

Me: What did I do to deserve this?

Geneal: You’re just earning your money 🙂 

I should probably mention at this point that I was babysitting at the time. I don’t watch kid’s shows for fun. Except for maybe Arthur. But Arthur rules forever, so shut up.

Me: True. Now we’re watching Bear in the Big Blue House. Because I want to.

Geneal: Good for you (notice how disinterested she seems? It’s because she totally doesn’t care. I knew that, but I was bored and needed someone to text.)

Me: Bear thinks I smell good ALL THE TIME. 

Geneal: Oh snap

Me: Now I’m getting to know my potty chair. And he thinks I look debonair in my underwear. 

I should ALSO probably mention that this episode in particular was the potty training episode. Bear isn’t a creep who likes underwear, I promise. He’s a lovable, family-friendly bear who only wants the best for your children, and that includes potty training. Such love ♥

Geneal: Well that is uncomfortable.

Me: I’m also a potty expert. 

Geneal: Wow

Me: Are you jealous yet? I am a potty. Expert. 

Geneal: 

Me: I just hope you know that I’ve been potty trained longer than you, so I’m better at it.

Geneal: Haha you are crazy… (this is where Geneal decides she has had enough of my silliness and secretly wishes for me to simply zip it. I realize that, but I also like bugging her. It’s because I”m so full of love, obviously.)

Me: Nevertheless, I am a potty expert.

Geneal: Lucky you

Me: I know. #blessed

Geneal: I hope you get a career in the potty world and fulfill your dreams

Me: I do, too. Maybe I can teach a seminar. Potty and You: Broadening Your Horizons.

Geneal: That would be wonderful!

Me: It brings tears to my eyes. 

Geneal: Potties bring people together

Me: Potty rockin in the house tonight! 

Geneal: Now the potty don’t flush till I walk innn

Me: WE CAME TO POTTY

Geneal:I should wash your mouth out after all that potty talk!

Me: I’m just getting this potty started, darling.

Geneal: Whatevs <--- font="">clearly done with my crap)

Me: #donthate

Geneal: #iwantto

Me: #pleaseno

Geneal: #cantbetamed #myforever

Me: #mancrushmonday

There you have it. Proof that I am completely insane, and also a little boy. It gets a lil’ frustrating, being the youngest in the family even though you are, in fact, eighteen years old. Thankfully, I have one sister who understands how weird I am, and supports me. 

Savannah. I can do literally anything, and she picks it up and goes with it. Likewise, when she decides to text me as a gangsta, I can happily oblige.

Savannah: Gurl where you be at

Me: Guuuurl I be workin hard to make tha dough ya know

Savannah:oh ya sarry ah be fergettin

Me: dass okay, dass okay. I be all alone at the present, cuz the oldest be at school, an’ tha yungest be slippin’

Savannah: ah be trippin. y’all sirius?!

Me: ah is serious fo rizzle. Ah ain’t got nobody to talk to an’ nuttin’ ta read. So help a homie out an’ kip on texing me.

See? We just pick up the vibe and go with it.
I sure do love my sisters. They help me grow up. :^)

~Haeley

Meet my new boyfriend! ….jeans

Happy spring, everybody! I hope the increasing temperatures aren’t torturing you all too much just yet. :^) I have something to share with all of you….
I did a (successful) refashion!
Recently, I’ve become really interested in fashion and clothing, and have been looking for ways to keep my clothes current, while at the same time being affordable. That’s really important to me, especially since I’ll be a poor college student in five short months! ;^)
Anyway, I’ve really been wanting some boyfriend jeans, but have been hesitant about getting some because a) I’m shorter than the average model, and b) not quite as skinny as the average model. So while the pretty, tall, skinny girls looked amazing in boyfriend jeans, I was less sure about how I would look.

Nevertheless, I was determined to try it out. So I did some light research (ie would a short, curvacious, bodacious babe like me even look any good in bf jeans?), and perused Old Navy for some nice pairs. Unfortunately, they were a liiiiiiiitle too pricey for my taste, so I kept looking. Maybe I could go to Goodwill?

But then the fashion angels smiled down upon me and presented me with this tutorial! I could MAKE my own boyfriend jeans!!

Immediately I set about to find a good pair of pants I could rip up, and I found the most perfect pair ever!

These pants are a good idea in theory, but they looked absolutely TERRIBLE on me. Plus, I had never gotten around to actually hemming them, so they just sagged and bagged and made me look like an elephant. These were horrible as full-length pants, but they had potential.
Plus…. They were from a clothing exchange, so I got them for free, which was a big perk. I didn’t have to feel guilty about ripping these babies up! And if they got ruined, or still looked gross on me, I could throw them away without so much as a backward glance.
First order of business, I cut the cuffs off.

After that, I ripped some holes over the knees, except I really ripped them. As in, it broke off into weird strips of fabric. It was serious. So I didn’t take any pictures of those, because I got mad and furiously stitched them back together. I actually was wearing them while I was stitching, and I was sitting on a stool in my bathroom, so I’m sure I was a sight to see. The finished product wasn’t too shabby!They look fine, with an added touch of Frankenstein-esque flair (cuz what screams “spring” louder than Frankenstein pants? Nothing, that’s what.)
After that, it was time for some additional rips and holes to pull the whole look together- and for the record, if you hate ripped and distressed denim, sorry. Deal with it. 😛
You’re supposed to use sandpaper blocks to distress the holes, but I couldn’t find any in our garage and was too lazy to bother looking, so I just got a nail file and filed those puppies until they were frayed and fabulous. (I also stitched up a hole on the booty, but you don’t get to see pictures of that, because awkward!)
Then came the moment of truth. I tried them on, gritted my teeth, and…. Dang, I looked good! It’s amazing what a little snipping and ripping can do for a pair of tired old pants. I really feel good about wearing them now!

These pants are also really good if you decide to do wall sits.

What’s awesome about boyfriend jeans is that, although they are a looser, distressed fit, you can easily dress them up or down! I paired mine with purple wedges (that got cut out of the picture cuz of funky angles), a skinny white belt, and my striped shirt. It’s a classic, cute look for spring, and I can’t wait to wear it out and about!

~Haeley

Food adventure #5: Indian Oven

All day today, I have fantasized about having some delightful foreign cuisine. Preferably Thai, but I was also open to Chinese. As long as it was from across the world, I was okay.
The rest of the day continued in like fashion, with me dreaming of Asian foods even as I gently plowed through an entire pint of chocolate ice cream in one sitting (actually, that’s a lie. I ate like, a sixth of it last night at the park. So, no guilt.), until my dear old dad showed up at home and proposed a proposal that charmed me to the core: we would attend his PTO meeting, and after that we would go to Nunthaporn’s.

Lest you think that is some horrible, horrible club, it’s not. It’s a little Thai place on Main street that is so. Good. Despite the unfortunate choice of name, it’s worth it.

After about half an hour, we remembered: It’s spring break! And that means no PTO meeting! Yay! So we could skip the dull meeting and just go straight to dinner- my kind of evening, folks. My kind of evening.

With this new development in mind, we had another thought: what if we scrapped the Thai idea and got something really exotic…. Like Indian food. 
Oh ho ho, zees ees something new! (say that last sentence in a goofy French accent. It makes more sense that way.) Although I was a little skeptical, I decided to go for it. Because a) food, and b) I could TOTALLY count this as a food adventure worthy of the blog.
Isn’t that thoughtful of me?

So off we went to Indian Oven (or is it India Oven? I can’t remember)!
Little did I know, I was in for an adventure.
India(n) Oven is a little buffet, so you get to see everything and eat it all right away- a major plus. I applaud you, Indian Oven. This is what I got:

Beautiful, ain’t it? Clockwise from the top: um, rice stuff, lamb, blended green stuff, something something paneer, chicken something, and chicken tikka masala.
That is some preeeeeetty good crap, right there. Indeed. In addition to the readily available buffet, they also brought out baskets of naan.

it’s in the shape of a smile, because that’s what you do
when you eat it.

The naan was really good as well. It kind of tastes like a bread stick, only lighter and, well, flat. Also, as I was eating the bread, I thought to myself, “if they poisoned this bread, it would be naan-toxic! Hahahahahahahaha lolololololol hehehehehehehehe ho ho ho”

But let’s get back to the main dish.
The chicken was all really good, the scary-looking green stuff was pretty darn tasty, and the paneer? Oh, mama. Paneer is amazing stuff. It’s a kind of Indian cheese, with a kind of bread-y flavor goin’ on. The sauce they put it in was perfection, and it was my favorite dish by far. I even got seconds and seriously entertained the idea of thirds, but alas, I got lost in the naan.
The dish I was most afraid of was the lamb, honestly. I’ve never had lamb! How was I supposed to know what it tasted like? With fear in my heart and a slight grimace on my face, I tried the lamb. It was…. Surprisingly good, actually! Almost sweet. The word that kept coming to mind was floral, but I don’t  know if that even makes sense. Maybe if it was lamb-wine or something (which I really hope is not a thing, because ew).

At any rate, it was divine, and I’m just really happy right now. You know when you eat a good amount of something and your stomach is pretty full, but not to the point of discomfort? It’s just a happy little bulge, reminding you that DANG life is good. That’s how I feel right now. Perfectly content, except I had my laptop resting on my stomach at an odd angle for the majority of this post, and now it’s a little irritated with me. But whatever. #noregrets

And at least I haven’t done this to myself…. In a while.

Until next time, fellow foodies,

~Haeley

Selfie Wars- a story told in screenshots.

Once upon a time, I was on Twitter. And what to my wondering eyes did behold…
My darling sister Geneal, getting all judgey about selfies. I knew I had to retaliate somehow.

With that statement, I knew it was war.

Geneal came back swinging with this sassy selfie:

Oh, I brought it.

Geneal’s swift reply to that came as a serious blow:

Geneal’s undeniable fabulosity was not to be trifled with; however, I came right around with the fiery strength of a thousand Throwback Thursdays with this little gem:

How could Geneal compete?

Ohhh, Geneal was playing dirty. She was bringing my mother into this mess? That was the last straw. The gloves were coming off.

Not to be outdone, I simply got into contact with a pal of mine. Good ol’ Photoshop Benedict Cumberbatch. With this selfie, I knew the battle had been won. I knew the odds were in my favor.

Sure enough, I had her. She was a technological goner after that last effort on my part. I had won, fair and square, and the only thing left to do now was taunt her with my victory.

#winning

And thus concludes our selfie war.
Until next time, I am, affectionately,

~Haeley (the selfie queen)

Happy Pie Day!!

I’m not one to care about weird days like Pi Day, but this year was different. I desired a pie, and not just any pie, but a chocolate one.
That I could eat. (meaning sugar free. Duh.)
So I headed over to my favorite dessert website, Chocolate Covered Katie in search of a suitable option to satiate my dire need for chocolate, and I stumbled upon this beauty: Mint Chocolate Fudge Pie.
Oh my lanta, you guys. I found it.
So after running a ton of errands, I set about in search of the necessary ingredients, and ended up going to two stores (thanks a lot for not having tofu, WalMart. Thanks.), but in the end, I think it was worth it. I mean, I would get pie out of this endeavor, so that makes it okay.

There’s a tricky bit to this story, however. You see, we recently discovered mold in our kitchen, so to keep our house from being eaten alive by little green things, we’ve had to completely gut our kitchen. I mean completely.

This is our living room, covered in kitchen. Savannah & I really enjoy
fighting our way through boxes in order to eat breakfast.

Gutted.

So as you can see, making a pie was going to be an adventure, indeed. No counter, no stovetop, no nothing. So where did I go about making this culinary masterpiece, you may ask? Why, the only logical place to go under such circumstances!

The garage.

We’ve made the garage into a makeshift kitchen of sorts for the time being, with a small table supporting various appliances such as the waffle iron and the griddle. I moved the blender & the wok down (if you want to frustrate yourself, try melting a package of chocolate chips in a wok. Ughhhh), and set to work making my pie. I made sure to blend it really well, because I reeeeally didn’t want to have to deal with a tofu-y texture, plus I hoped maybe blending really well would get rid of the smell. Cuz honestly, the tofu was throwing smells at me that reminded me of a dissection. DEFINITELY not something I want to envision as I’m tucking into a pie.
mmm, Haeley, this pie is delicious! Did you use essence of formalin? It tastes just like that eyeball we dissected in class last month!
Sorry for that mental image, but I really needed to communicate my distress to you. I was seriously worrying about not being able to eat my own pie due to vivid imaginings of unsavory pie mix-ins, when I remembered I forgot to put honey & mint in the pie! Two essential ingredients!
I hastily blended them in, and to my delight, the peppermint rid the pie of any otherwise questionable odors. (BLESS YOU, DOTERRA. BLESS YOU.)
I popped the pie into the freezer, & began the waiting game. Every 5 minutes one of my siblings would inquire as to whether the pie was ready or not, and every 5 minutes my patience was chipped away just a little bit more. But a watched pot never boils, nor does a watched pie ever chill, so we sat down to an episode of Avatar and ate some chicken pot pie for dinner.

Soon, the time came, and I snuck the pie out of the freezer, and to my intense delight, it was done!

I tried a bite and… Oh, gosh….
People. This pie is wondrous.
W.O.N.D.R.O.U.S.
It’s so chocolatey, and smooth, and minty, and…. And…. Wow.
If ever there was a man-catching pie, this would be it. Just my humble opinion. I mean, I haven’t tried catching any men with it, but I’m sure Charlotte would approve.

“OMG YOUR PIE TOTALLY WORKED YAY ME THANK YOU SO MUCH”

This is something I am, without a doubt, making again. 

Oh! Oh! Bonus!! Since I blended it so much, the texture was sooooooooo smooth and creamy. I definitely recommend blending it thoroughly, if you want a silky texture with no tofu-ishness. And I added about 4 drops of peppermint essential oil, and that was perfecto. I know the recipe calls for peppermint essence or whatever, but oil totally works.
Yeah, I’m a doTERRA geek. Deal with it. 
In short, if you ever need a wonderful pie, look no further! I have found it!
(ps- if you want to see pictures of my pie, check out my Instagram! I finally have one!)
~Haeley