Sometimes I think I am not actually the oldest in my family. Sometimes I am pretty much positive it’s actually Geneal who is the oldest, and I am permanently six. Case in point: Geneal stopped playing with Barbies wayyyyy longer than me (I was thirteen years old, thank you very much), and has just relatively been the more rational sibling. In case you feel the need for further proof as to why I am grotesquely backwards for my age, let me repeat to you a text conversation we had this morning. (I’m going to start from the beginning so you have a feel for how thoroughly weird I am.)
Me: I hate this show.
Geneal: Which one?
Me: Micky Mouse Clubhouse >.<
Geneal: Ohh… Yuck…
Me: What did I do to deserve this?
Geneal: You’re just earning your money 🙂
I should probably mention at this point that I was babysitting at the time. I don’t watch kid’s shows for fun. Except for maybe Arthur. But Arthur rules forever, so shut up.
Me: True. Now we’re watching Bear in the Big Blue House. Because I want to.
Geneal: Good for you (notice how disinterested she seems? It’s because she totally doesn’t care. I knew that, but I was bored and needed someone to text.)
Me: Bear thinks I smell good ALL THE TIME.
Geneal: Oh snap
Me: Now I’m getting to know my potty chair. And he thinks I look debonair in my underwear.
I should ALSO probably mention that this episode in particular was the potty training episode. Bear isn’t a creep who likes underwear, I promise. He’s a lovable, family-friendly bear who only wants the best for your children, and that includes potty training. Such love ♥
Geneal: Well that is uncomfortable.
Me: I’m also a potty expert.
Me: Are you jealous yet? I am a potty. Expert.
Me: I just hope you know that I’ve been potty trained longer than you, so I’m better at it.
Geneal: Haha you are crazy… (this is where Geneal decides she has had enough of my silliness and secretly wishes for me to simply zip it. I realize that, but I also like bugging her. It’s because I”m so full of love, obviously.)
Me: Nevertheless, I am a potty expert.
Geneal: Lucky you
Me: I know. #blessed
Geneal: I hope you get a career in the potty world and fulfill your dreams
Me: I do, too. Maybe I can teach a seminar. Potty and You: Broadening Your Horizons.
Geneal: That would be wonderful!
Me: It brings tears to my eyes.
Geneal: Potties bring people together
Me: Potty rockin in the house tonight!
Geneal: Now the potty don’t flush till I walk innn
Me: WE CAME TO POTTY
Geneal:I should wash your mouth out after all that potty talk!
Me: I’m just getting this potty started, darling.
Geneal: Whatevs <--- font="">clearly done with my crap)--->
Geneal: #cantbetamed #myforever
There you have it. Proof that I am completely insane, and also a little boy. It gets a lil’ frustrating, being the youngest in the family even though you are, in fact, eighteen years old. Thankfully, I have one sister who understands how weird I am, and supports me.
Savannah. I can do literally anything, and she picks it up and goes with it. Likewise, when she decides to text me as a gangsta, I can happily oblige.
Savannah: Gurl where you be at
Me: Guuuurl I be workin hard to make tha dough ya know
Savannah:oh ya sarry ah be fergettin
Me: dass okay, dass okay. I be all alone at the present, cuz the oldest be at school, an’ tha yungest be slippin’
Savannah: ah be trippin. y’all sirius?!
Me: ah is serious fo rizzle. Ah ain’t got nobody to talk to an’ nuttin’ ta read. So help a homie out an’ kip on texing me.
See? We just pick up the vibe and go with it.
I sure do love my sisters. They help me grow up. :^)