Alice in Wonderland

I am absolutely serious when I say that I am going to FINISH blogging about 2013 before it ends, and that begins with Alice in Wonderland. I don’t know why I haven’t gotten around to it yet, but I am doing it now, so here goes.
Despite my diva fits and my ugly hair, the play actually went wonderfully. I think half the fun this time was just hanging out backstage and goofing off with my friends, honestly… Although being a loud, rude brat of a queen was fun too. ;^) We frolicked in the hallway,

Made faces showing the struggles of stage makeup,

Sexy, no?

And we even played around in the dressing room as pregnant ladies!

That was probably my favorite part, running around all round. Goofing off with these girls was wonderful, because I built friendships that I would have missed had I been onstage for the majority of the play.
I almost forgot! On opening night, I got a little present!

 Could this be what I was hoping for?

Can you tell a girl wrote that? :^)

Yes! At long last, I was getting a reply to Winter Formal! That made my night so much more fun, knowing I had a definite yes. :^)

With each performance I’m in, I learn all over again how wonderful it is to have an audience watching your every move. It puts pressure on you to do your best, and I have found that with that pressure, I remember everything more clearly. It was a wonderful experience, and it was AWESOME garnering laughs. I got quite a few, and each one was sooooooo perfect. It’s like emotional candy, knowing the audience likes what you’re doing.

All in all, it was a great performance, and I’m grateful for the opportunity I had to be the Queen of Hearts. :^)

~Haeley

Baking- attempt #2

Okay, guys. I have obviously not learned my lesson in regards to never baking ever, because I’m making a pumpkin pie right now. Hopefully it turns out mildly palatable. At least the batter tastes good!

Please disregard the yucky appearance. It looks lovely, and it tastes good, too!
Yeah, I tasted batter with raw egg in it. Deal with it.
THIS PIE LOOKS AMAZING YOU GUYS MERRY LATE CHRISTMAS TO ALL

~Haeley

A Christmas story- a heartwarming day.

Greetings and Merry Christmas! I hope this finds you well. I’m typing this from my brand-spanking new laptop- yes. My OWN laptop. I’m thrilled! And yes, I screamed. A lot.

But that’s beside the point. I have a Christmas story to tell you all!
You see, every year my old elementary school has a wonderful Christmas party- complete with a puppet show and a hayride! It’s always been one of my favorite days, and even as I’ve gotten older, I’ve enjoyed it every bit as much. I’ve got a weak spot for that school, I guess.
Anyway, during the puppet show, there’s this one number that gets me every. Single. Time. It’s Blue Christmas, as made popular by Elvis Presley. Each year they pull a lucky preschooler out of the audience and they sit on the floor while a lion marionette slinks out and serenades them. He winks at them, he snuggles up to them, and he sits on their lap.
It’s pure Christmas magic.
Each year, I have perked right up whenever it’s performed, hoping to be the lucky child picked to be sat on by the majestic lion, and each year, someone else has been chosen to experience my dream. 
You don’t understand, guys. I’ve ALWAYS wanted to be sat on by that lion. Since I was a wee lass, I’ve squirmed and raised my hand, clamoring for their attention, and time after time, some other child was given the gift of serenade by cat.
So this year, I casually brought up that fact in passing conversation, thinking nothing of it.
Little did I know, my sweet, sweet mother had plans. 
The night before the puppet show, she called my old teacher and asked if it would be at all possible to let me be the one to be sat on by the lion, and out of the goodness of her heart, she said yes!! 
The next day, we went to the school, where I promptly made myself at home chatting with my good friend Annie. We talked about the lion and she told of how when she got picked to sit up there, the lion scared her and she cried. I laughingly stated that if I got picked this year, I would cry too! 
The puppet show began, and I enjoyed it every bit as much. My childhood memories were dancing right in front of me! What joy! What wonder! What…. The heck? One of the puppeteers walked up to me and asked me to follow her. I had a sneaking suspicion of what might be about to happen, but I disregarded it. I at once thought I had somehow gotten in trouble, and was being sent out of the room to be dealt with accordingly. She led me to the front of the room and had me sit down Indian-style on the floor. 
Then it clicked. 
I started breathing faster, my pulse jumped, and as the song began and the lion crept out, I started laughing uncontrollably.
This was really happening, wasn’t it? I had been picked out of the crowd of tons of preschoolers and kindergartners, and I WAS BEING SERENADED BY A LION. IS THIS REAL LIFE
 Yes, it was. 
I, being the goofy performer I am, played right along with the lion, batting my eyes at him and flirting for all I was worth. He received it well, because he stuck around and continued.
And then…. He 
SNUGGLED
UP
NEXT
TO
ME.

He was every bit as soft and fuzzy as I imagined, and more so. I think I’m in love. 
I’m so so so so soooooooo grateful my mom did that for me! It’s something I’ll remember for years to come. :^)
~Haeley

A Christmas story- or, proof that I cannot bake.

I try to do nice things. I really do, I promise! They just hardly ever turn out the way I hope.

Take today, for example.
Today, I decided to make cookies for my YW leaders and my friends, because that’s what a wholesome young woman does, right? She makes wonderful cookies out of the goodness of her heart, and naturally, they end up like beautiful Tollhouse treasures, because that’s just how everything turns out for girls- because we’re naturally gifted in the kitchen. Right?
This is what I was expecting:

Accurate image of my expectations
Perfect image of how my cookies would look in the oven
Flawless representation of how my dough would look
Enjoyment of my perfect cookie as reenacted by an Asian child
Spot-on close up of how delicious my cookies would be.

I had dreams, people. I dreamt of a better cookie- a perfect cookie, filled to the brim with delicious chocolate chips and the innocent Christmas dreams of a happy child. Oh, how wrong I was!

It began simply enough, my quest for cookies. I set about getting the ingredients together, and thought to myself how awesome this was going to be- Just kidding. I kinda knew this was going to be painful. I just didn’t know how bad it would be.
I popped the first batch in the oven, and when they came out…. This happened.

I DID NOT PUT BUGS IN THESE, OKAY
They looked TERRIBLE. I wept, wailed, and gnashed my teeth. Even Geneal couldn’t maintain composure around my disaster cookies. Of course, she was also slap happy, but that is no excuse. She laughed and laughed at my expense, and as I seasoned the cookies with my tears, I put another batch in the oven.

My second batch was not much better, but whatever. It’s the thought that counts, right?
Okay. Lame excuse. But I really was trying to be nice and loving and wonderful with these things…. It just didn’t turn out right. Savannah walked in at one point and remarked, “oh my gosh these are the ugliest cookies I’ve ever SEEN!!! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa!!!” You gotta give her props for being honest, though. 😛

My true feelings

I cursed the cookbook that led me astray in my culinary aspirations.

“YOU DID THIS TO ME!!!” 

I shrieked in my agony. How was I supposed to become a cute homemaker if I couldn’t even get cookies right?
I’ll probably accidentally kill my future spouse and children one of these days.

This is where my life is headed, I know it. 

But I digress. Cookies were still to be made!! I sallied forth and brought more ugly cookies into the world.

NOT the finished product. They just looked sad on the
cookie sheet, all melting and such.

Still ugly, but you know. Whatever.

I also danced around in the kitchen quite a bit, embracing my sweet moves. Because after all, that is how you bake cookies. 

Geneal pointed out that maybe if I put more flour in the cookies, they might not suck as much. I grudgingly obeyed, and suddenly-

 OH MY GOSH COULD THESE COOKIES ACTUALLY BE PALATABLE?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!!?!?!!!!!1??!?

Let’s hope so. I sent the prettiest ones off without sampling them (except for the one I dropped on the floor. I ate that one. It was pretty okay, I guess.), and with that, I was done!
I should probably mention at this point that I made them without white, refined sugar. Cuz I don’t do that crap. I used coconut sugar, and that might be part of the reason why they were so frickin’ ugly. Health comes at a price, folks. That it does.

I also decided it would be appropriate to shoot Julia a text documenting my baking failures.

Me: I am literally the worst baker in the history of the whole entire world. Why why whyyyyy

Julia: 

Well, these are my cookies!

Time out. These cookies look like they were kissed by angels and Martha Stewart herself. This is not a fair world. I reluctantly showed her my cookies.

Me:
Shut up.
Well, guys. That is my Christmas Eve story for you. 
Oh! For the 11th day of Christmas, I got a little Christmas CD. Fun stuff!
~Haeley

Let’s talk about eyesight… And my camera… And the 10th day of Christmas!

I figured y’all deserved to hear a little bit about my eyes.
I got new glasses this last week and I looooooove them! They’re so much nicer than my old pair, to be frank. I like the color, shape, size, style… pretty much everything is better. Here’s my old pair:

These glasses are proof that skinnier is NOT always better.

So. Much. Better.

I feel like a vintage goddess in these babies, and I’ve already gotten a lot of compliments on them, so obviously I’m doing something right! ;^) Plus, since they’re bigger frames, it’s actually better for my prescription, since I have more areas to see out of or something. In any case, I love them!

Guys, it’s time to get serious now. Something horrible happened on Tuesday that I think you deserve to know about. My camera, my beautiful camera, my wonderful, 5-year-old camera died. It refuses to work anymore, and I am seriously so sad about it! I loved that camera, and losing it makes me super sad. Especially since it’s the Christmas season, I’ve got tons of things to document, and now I can’t! :^( So I have to make do with my laptop’s webcam, which frankly, doesn’t do very well AT ALL. Dangit. I’ll save up for a better one then, I guess. Ughhh.
Last but not least, the 10th day of Christmas!

Don’t you love those high-quality images???
~Haeley

The 8th & 8th days of Christmas, along with a funny text conversation.

Oh my goodness. I am seriously SO BEHIND on posting to this blog. Yes, I’ve been doing the 12 days of Christmas (except for the last two days. Chalk that up to laziness…) but I promise I am going to start writing about some events in my life that I would like to document. I’ll be playing catch up today, so you can expect a LOT of posts. Yay! But I digress. Let’s get down to the nitty gritty…

Okay, this person totally knows how much I love mints of any kind. 

I think they understand my desire to be kissable at all times.

So on to the funny story.
Back in the olden days when I was still taking Government (I am FREE AT LAST), I was dozing through the lecture when suddenly the conversation turned to murder, and Mr. Taylor told the story of how one day long ago, a man killed six women in a beauty parlor. Naturally, my mind perked up right then and the next thing you know… I was laughing.
No, I’m not some bloodthirsty maniac, nor do I enjoy hearing about death, but I came up with a pun- and if you know me, you know I’m a sucker for a good pun-so I simply had to tell someone. I texted my friend Lexi (who was suffering right alongside me in class) and said:
Me: I guess you could say those six women at the beauty parlor….. Dyed. This shouldn’t amuse me, but it does.
Lexi: Bahahaha! Their life was “cut” short. Haha!
Me: We’d better “wash” out…
Lexi: I’m trying to think of more “dry” humor but it’s not “blowing” into my mind. Haha. (…wow that was a stretch.)
Me: I suppose the joke is “waxing” thin… I wish we could “makeup” some more!
So there you have it. I am a horrible person with a horrendous sense of twisted humor, but… So does Lexi. So there.

~Haeley

On the 5th & 6th day of Christmas…

Yoooooo, I love this color!

I’m loving this. :^D
In other news, I went to a reception last night with my lady friends, and lemme tell ya- that was the most BEAUTIFUL reception I think I’ve ever been to. I can’t even describe how lovely it was. It was just perfect, and I squealed several times during the course of the night. I just love wedding receptions so much, because that means weddings, and I love those things. I just love it when two people find each other, and decide to grow old together. I wish them an eternity of happiness. :^)
Last day of school tomorrow…. Yikes.

~Haeley

Les Cheeserables

Lately, I’ve been feeling empty, because I have no cheddar cheese in my house. Why, you ask? Instead of delectable, palatable cheese, we have a wheel of misfortune taking up space within our fridge. It’s name is Mennonite Cheese. It tastes like gym sock and the tears of refugees, and my sister Geneal and I are morally opposed to such flavors. So we came up with a plan: we shall have a revolution, and make a musical to go along with it. It will be called Les Cheeserables. Here are some sample lyrics:

Geneal: “Do you hear the people sing? It is the song of hungry men! It is the music of a people who won’t eat foul cheese again!”

Me: “At the end of the day you’re another day older, and that’s all you can say for the life of a cheese.”

Geneal: “I ate some cheese in time gone by, when hope was high and life worth living!”

Me: “Lovely cheeses, smell ’em in the fridge, put them in a sandwich if you’re a hungry little bloke!”

Geneal: “Look down! Look down! Mennonite cheese will make you cry! Look down! Look down! It smells like something died!”

Me: “A little ball of cheese, can hardly hurt me now…”

Geneal: “White! The color of Swiss cheese. Yellow: the color of cheddar!”

Me: “Have some Muenster, sit yourself down, and eat the best cheese slices in town!”

Geneal: “Eat with me, some cheese with rye!”

Me: “There is a cheeseball in my dreams, I like to eat it in my sleep.”

Geneal: “There… Out in the darkness… A wheel of cheese rolling… Fallen from shelving! Fallen from shelves!”

Me: “A mouth full of cheese, no bread, no baguettes.”

Geneal: “In my life, there are so many cheeses that somehow taste wrong!”

Geneal: “what is this? what is this? IT’S SHREDDED PARMESAN!’

Me: “A little shredded cheese can hardly hurt me now…”

Geneal: “The cheese has turned so cold! And yet it’s going moldy!”

So… We’re kind of amazing, nbd.

~Haeley