The XY Files

Have you ever gone loco-crazy for boys before? Like, for a few days/hours/weeks/months/etc., you are just plain OBSESSED with the opposite sex, and you want every possible opportunity to look at/drool over/fantasize about boys, boys, boys, and you can’t seem to stop yourself? Yup. That’s me right now. Boy CRAZY. Oh my word, I am boy crazy right now. Lemme tell ya. So without further ado, I will now provide you all with an overload of males.

DOUGRAY SCOTT:
AKA, Prince Henry from Ever After. Ohhh myyyy. 

MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY:


MATTHEW GOODE:
Hold up here. Is he abnormally gorgeous, or what? I think my jaw just hit the floor. In China.

KASEY KAHNE:


I might need to start watching NASCAR….

TREVOR BAYNE:
Again with NASCAR hotties. Dang.

CHRIS EVANS:


Oh yes.

TOM HIDDLESTON:



GERARD BUTLER:

JEREMY SUMPTER:


I should probably stop here, before I realize I spent the whole night looking up pictures of delicious men. But I just thought y’all would appreciate a little man-candy. :^D
-DQ#1


So there’s this boy…

The classic opening line for a confession, no? Anyway, let me tell you my story:
I walk into English today, nothing unusual. Then, when class starts, I glance over to the left of me, and sitting right there in the front,
is
this
boy. Dark brown hair, light, almost pale skin- not a pallid pale, more like European pale. A sexy pale. A pale you want to kiss- er, I mean, uh… Moving on. Nice complexion, and he is fit. Not overly muscular, but not flabby, just fit. Slim, and quiet, it seems. I realize I’m staring, and try to focus on class, but my gaze keeps drifting. I need him- I mean, I need his name. Turn around, Haeley, turn around and focus. Okay, maybe a quick peek- HOLY COW IS HE ACTUALLY LOOKING AT YOU?! TURNAROUNDTURNAROUND. He is so. Cute.
Later, when we do a freewrite, I raise my hand to make a comment. My peripheral vision tells me he is looking at me, soaking up every word I say. Okay, maybe not soaking up, but listening. Hmm. He’s a gentleman. At least he pays attention. Then he raises his hand and makes a comment that I swear somehow relates to mine.
*Digression!*
You know how when there is a cute boy in the vicinity, your senses immediately zero in on him and you become acutely aware of every move they make? Even more bizarre, your Girl Senses take over and cloud your brain, deluding you into thinking he keeps looking at you. I shall now call this Deluded Girl Sense Syndrome, or DGSS. Anyway, your DGSS is making you crazy, and it’s like he is permanently in your field of vision. And you subconsciously realize you keep staring back at him, except you make sure he isn’t looking at you when you are checking him out. Suddenly, your DGSS sinks you lower, into hoping (and maybe praying?) that you have just ONE MORE CLASS with this boy, and then you start fantasizing him coming into your 2A class to TA with you, then you realize you are both madly in love with each other, and then you get married. Just silly things like that.
**Digression!**
I think I’m in love with MIKA. He is the vision of absolute perfection and I would give anything to kiss him. Muah. I love him I love him I love him.

I think our children would be beautiful.
***back to original story***
Hold on. I’m not done looking at MIKA. His face is beautiful. SDFLGKJSFL;JSFGL;JGF;KLJILOVEYOUMIKAAAADFJGKHNDVBKJNDFJN
Sorry. Ahem.
Anyway, my DGSS as seriously getting in the way of my focusing, when I finally catch his name- James. Isn’t that a lovely name? James, James, James. I hope he has Seminary 1A or something…. That would be a treat!
Then my DGSS gets in the way AGAIN- in a negative form this time. I start worrying that he’d never, ever want to hang out with ME, when there are droves of popular, gorgeous girls crawling all over this school. Then I worry that he’ll ask some popular chick to Homecoming, leaving me Forever Alone… But then a shred of hope comes peeking through the cloudy clouds of my mind: I’m sure all the popular girls will be taken pretty darn soon! And some of them already have boyfriends, so HA. They can’t have him!!! I’m available, on the other hand….. I really hope he asks me…. Is it wrong to pray for a boy to ask you out?? Because really, I think the only chance I could get with him would be through inspiration or something. Maybe if I save his life, he’ll realize that we should be, how you say… Friends. And then pen pals, when he leaves on his mission, and eventually eternal companions.
Your thoughts?

-DQ#1

Dreaming

So last night I dreamt that I was pregnant…. Again. If you know me really well, you will know that my dreams mostly consist of:

  • Being married
  • Boys
  • Being pregnant.
They’re actually pretty enjoyable, those dreams. Mostly. Occasionally, I get married to a weirdo (a nice weirdo, of course), or I turn into the boy I’m dreaming about, but when I dream about being pregnant, I love them! 
In this dream, it was very real. I was close to my due date, and I. Was. Huge. I felt heavy and slow, and I had to pee all the time. It also was hard to walk, because my feet hurt. So, I think this was pretty realistic. I was uncomfortable, but so happy and excited, I was okay with the pain. I mostly thought about being a mommy, and I loved picking out baby clothes. I also couldn’t resist putting my hand on my massive belly 24/7, which I think I’m going to end up doing when I’m preggo in real life.
The best part for me was when I actually had the baby- not the actual birthing process, of course, but when I got to hold my son for the first time. He was so tiny! I couldn’t keep my eyes off him, watching his every move, taking in those tiny fingers and toes, and loving his sweet face and red hair. He was perfect! Then I showed him to my husband, and I remember saying something along the lines of: 
“Come meet your Daddy!” Then I gave my baby to him, and I loved hearing him say, “Hi, little guy. Do you know who I am? I’m your Daddy!” It gives me chills thinking about that, you guys. Someday I’m going to hold a little baby in my arms, and they will be mine! I will have created a tiny, beautiful human being, and I will get the chance to raise them alongside my husband. I’m so excited to be a mama! I think about it all the time. I think I really will enjoy pregnancy, and having a baby to call my own. And I’m excited to see my husband become a dad, because, let’s face it, seeing a man who’s good with children is just about the most attractive thing they can ever do. Period. End of story.
So… Yeah. Random post, but I just had to get it out there. :^) 
Have you ever had a dream like that?
-DQ#1

I’m going to miss…

In case some of you haven’t heard yet, I’m moving in December. Again. Before you freak out though, it’s around the corner from where I previously live, so I will still be in my current ward. Pros? Bigger house, more bedrooms- yes, I get my own (meaning I can devote my closet to SHOES! …And maybe a shirt or two), but I’m a little apprehensive about moving. You see, I’ve finally gotten attached to this house. It’s home now. And when I get attached to something, I mean it. So this whole moving business is throwing me for a loop here, and I’m still not sure if I’m okay with this or not. But the fact of the matter is, its decided already. I’m moving, whether I’d like to or not, so I might as well get over it. But I’m going to miss a lot of things about this house, mainly:

  • My window seat. I LOVE my window seat. That’s what helped me accept the awful color of my bedroom initially. Even though I had to endure a purple bedroom, at least I could have a window seat.
  • The windows. We have big windows, and I really enjoy big windows that let in lots of light. I also like staring out windows. It’s peaceful.
  • The high ceilings. I’ve always wanted high ceilings, because they make a house feel so much more airy, and it makes the house seem bigger.
  • The plants. We have two trees in front, and the one nearest the door grows yellow flowers year-round, which is nice because flowers are one of my life’s simple pleasures- and Dallin sometimes just gives me a flower for no reason. We also have a lovely jasmine plant by our door, and in the springtime, it smells delicious. We also have nice, shady trees in the backyard, and they grow blossoms in the spring, too. This last one is completely stupid, but when we first moved in, there was what seemed to be a weed growing by a gate in our backyard, and now it’s growing into a young tree.  I’ve only recently noticed it’s progress, and it kind of saddens me that we don’t get to watch it continue to grow. Silly, really, but there you have it.
  • I’ll miss our treehouse, even though I’ve never even been in it before. 😛
  • I’m going to really, really, really, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY really really really miss the greenbelt. The greenbelt was a source of peace to me when we first moved, and it was a place I could just walk and let my thoughts run wild with me. I love watching it fill with water when it rains, I love walking through it to the canal, just as the sun is setting, I love the silence. The greenbelt is what kept me sane so many, many times these past two years. I know it’ll be there still, but it won’t be RIGHT there when I need it. I know I can visit pretty much anytime, but I really like having it in front of me 24/7.
  • I’m really going to miss my neighbors, the Porters. I’ve just started feeling really comfortable with Sister Porter, my recently called YW leader, and I love how she is always just a house away, and I can talk to her often. She is the only leader who’s ever made me feel this loved and special, and I feel like I can honestly consider her a friend. I just don’t want to be separated.
As you can see, I have a bit of separation anxiety. I’ll miss you, Decatur house.
-DQ#1

See that famous artist over there? Yeah, she’s my sister. Nbd.

Savannah entered an art contest for the Constitution Fair this weekend, and has been freaking out all week, thinking she’d be disqualified since she drew a Nazi. (see picture here.) I knew she had it in the bag, of course, because a) she’s a Whetten, and Whettens are awesome, and b) she is one of the most amazing young artists I’ve ever seen. She is remarkable!
So apparently, in our school, they could only submit one entry for Junior High, and one entry for High School, and she was picked for the Junior High entry!!! That jazzed us up pretty well, and we anxiously awaited the results.
This morning, Mom and Savannah burst into our room, to announce the news that not only had Savannah won, she had won FIRST PLACE. FIRST PLACE. FIRST PLACE. Oh, and also… FIRST PLACE.
MY SISTER GOT FIRST FREAKING PLACE. HOLY COW. FIRST PLACE FIRST PLACE FIRST PLACE. She will be awarded a $200 cash prize, along with a heaping helping of self confidence. I always knew that chica was going to do something amazing, and this is definitely just the beginning. I love you, Savannah!! Keep this up.

-DQ#1

Pardon my awesomeness.

Recently in English, we were instructed to write an obelisk- basically, a brag column about yourself. It was pretty much the most awkward assignment ever, because I don’t like sounding vain- stop laughing at me.
But, my obelisk turned out pretty funny, so here it is:

O, Smart, quick-witted one!
My white, brilliant teeth shine like pearls!
Although I am short in stature, I am mighty in speaking.
Music spills forth like Honeyed Clouds of Celestial Glory when I sing.
My hair falls in silken curtains about the porcelain skin of my face, and my eyes glisten like melted chocolate in the sunset!
Though I speak much, I am well-read, and the written word enchants me like fairies in the woods.
There is no other alive who can prepare macaroni such as I can, mixing the ingredients with expert abilities. 
My eyelashes flutter delicately, like butterflies lazily flitting on a sunny afternoon.
I, Haeley Whetten, am a miracle at birth, a wondrous beauty and Talented conversationalist, gifted in all Fine Arts.

There ya have it! 

-DQ#1

OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS I JUST HAD THE BEST IDEA EVER

I had this brilliant stroke of genius and I just HAD to share it with you. Also, because I don’t want to forget it, and I think this is a good place to write ideas, eh?

Okay. Here is my idea:
If I don’t get asked to Homecoming, I don’t have to worry at all. Know why? Because I will make my own date. How? Tape, probably. No, I will not tape a poor boy up and make him dance with me all evening, nor will I tape someone to my wrists so they have no other option. I will make a mannequin out of tape, dress him up, and take him to the dance as my date! I think it would be so much fun, and everyone else would be super jealous of me! Right? Right?? 
Plus, how freaking hilarious would pictures be?
I don’t want to say I don’t wanna be asked, but if I don’t, no problemo! I’ve got this thing wired. Buahahaha….
-DQ#1

I read this on Pinterest and it made me laugh.

Body: Oh, guess what time of the month it is!

Me: Please no-
Ovaries: ALL SYSTEMS GOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Brain: I quit. I quit. Kittens and cupcakes and no one loves me. Oh my word salty snacks I am furious.
Me: Please, guys, calm down…
Face: TIME TO RUIN EVERYTHING YOU LIKED ABOUT ME. I’M GROWING MOUNTAINS!
Brain: And now I’m ugly! skjhzdkljkjhlkjh
Torso: Time to practice for labor. Cramp this chick up. GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO GO
Me: STOP IT FOR PETE’S SAKE
Stomach: Lol clothes can’t fit you anymore. You are bloated. You are now a ballooooooooon.
Me: I hate you all.
Brain: I KNOW EVERYONE HATES ME I AM SO DEPRESSED. We need to make out with men.
Face: Lol I’m not done yet.
Uterus: What did I ever do to deserve this?
Brain: You just wait, uterus. They’re gonna make you hold a baby for nine months straight.
Uterus: You are all awful.
Torso: CONTRACT!
Me: I quit being female. I am now a llama.
Brain: Me gusta.
I think us girls can pretty much all relate.
-DQ#1