The Sadies Situation Part 3

So after that last frantic post, I moved on with my life as much as possible. This included, but was not limited to:

  • taking my siblings driving around the neighborhood- without parental supervision (I’m so bad-but I DID have permission)
  • Taking them driving again
  • having a peaceful family dinner
  • playing with my siblings
  • tucking my brothers in,
  • laundry.
I finished this little list, and was just about to get in the shower when Mom knocked on the door:
“There’s a special delivery for you!”
“I’ll be out in a sec!”
I rushed out, (after redressing myself) and to my surprise and delight, there was a glass pan full of Goldfish crackers sitting pristinely on my doorstep. I picked it up and carried it inside gleefully. This is what I got:

 This is me, being excited.

This is me, being…. Um, weird. 
He even had the decency to put his reply in my glass pan!! What a stud. Needless to say, I am overjoyed that  I don’t have to stress over this anymore, and I can get down to the business of planning the rest of my date! Yippee!
And he friended me on Facebook. This is good.

So this is what insanity feels like…

I know I asked him only yesterday, but it feels like last week! And I know it’s Sunday, but Sadies is this week! I shouldn’t be freaking out this much, but I am, obviously. Nothing is keeping me calm! Maybe I need a tranquilizer gun aimed at my face or something… Gah!
I dreamt last night that what he did for his reply was write in HUGE chalk letters “Yes, Haeley! -Chandler” all down the brick wall across the street from me so when I walked out in the morning, I could see it in all its chalky splendor.  The sad thing was, in my dream, as soon as he finished, it rained- removing almost all traces of his work. Which was a crying shame, because in my dream, he’d gotten up in the middle of the night just to do that for me, and it took about three hours to do. So depressing, right? But all was not lost. He also cut out a bunch of circles of paper and wrote things he liked about me and taped them in the trunk of my car. Sweet, sweet, sweet.
In reality, I’m not expecting much. Perhaps a text saying “yeah”, or maybe a letter taped to my door. But HOW he replies doesn’t really matter, as long as he actually REPLIES. Hopefully with a resounding “yes!”
I feel like such a dope. I feel like I’m pressuring him into this, when I really shouldn’t be freaking out- it’s just ONE MEASLY DATE, so I don’t see the reason to be hyperventilating. Maybe because it would probably be his first date-
What if he doesn’t want to go out with me, and feels obligated to go just to be nice? What if he’s allergic to ice skates? What if he already has a date planned that night? What if he can’t stay out the whole time because he has school in the morning? What if his great aunt Clarice dies and has her funeral from 8-11 pm that night? What if he thinks I have an incurable crush on him, and only asked him out so I could stare creepily into his eyes all evening?
In reality, he probably is a little weirded out, but is also slightly excited to go out on his first date. Maybe he even wanted to go out with me in the first place, and I just made his job easier by asking him outright! Maybe my peace offering of brownies (with chocolate chips) made him realize just how bodacious of a babe I am! Maybe he realized I’m quite the hot dish!
I’m exaggerating, of course.
Isn’t it exhausting reading this?
Count yourself lucky you aren’t stuck with my brain, because this is what’s been running through my head ALL FREAKING DAY.
To make matters worse, we got to church late today, and had to sit in the back in the metal chairs. This wouldn’t have been stressful, however, Chandler’s family decided to conveniently plant themselves right in front of us. I began hyperventilating. Then I noticed Chandler wasn’t with them- he was up in the stand! My thoughts began racing.  
He couldn’t be giving a talk, could he? It’s fast Sunday (stake conference next week, you know how it is). Why is he up there?? If he is giving a talk, that means I’m obligated to look at him. I’m blushing hard enough already with his family just sitting in front of me. I’m just glad we got here late enough that he didn’t pass us our program. I would have died on the spot. Oh my word, oh my word, oh my word. Oh- he’s only up there so Bishop can announce that he’s been ordained a Priest. Whew. Oh, crud. That means he is coming to sit in the audience. RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!! NOOO.
Thankfully for my sanity, he sat to the far right, in the last open chair available. Still, having my potential date sitting in such close proximity to me unnerved me just a bit. The meeting went well until Lincoln had to go to the bathroom. I got the task of escorting him to the restroom, and on our way out I tripped on my shoe and wobbled a bit. This wouldn’t have been too bad, but Chandler was sitting RIGHT NEXT TO THE DOOR I WAS EXITING. So he probably totally saw me tripping. Ugh, how mortifying. I survived, however, and returned to my seat eventually. He passed me a few times in the halls, but since I’m a social butterfly, I was chatting with my beloved Courtney both times, and was not obligated to make eye contact with him. Whew.
I really hope he says yes.


The Sadies Situation Part 2

Before we delve into the next exciting installment of “Haeley’s messed-up life”, I will show you some pictures that I captioned and edited myself, to set the mood.

This is me. Posing with brownie mix and a spatula. Beware.

This is my threatening Yes-I-CAN-Cook pose. Fear it.

Whassup, yo? Nothin’ much with me, just cooking LIKE A BOSS!

This is the only picture of the brownies, so I felt it appropriate to zoom in and show them off. Because honestly? They were beautiful. Perfect, even.

This picture doesn’t hold much sentimental value, so I edited the snap out of it. Plus Picnik’s closing, so I’m in denial. Sue me.

Our shirts for Sadies. Mine is the one on the left. Just kidding. Ha ha.

This is his fabulous little shirt. Yes, the theme is Out Of This World. No, this shirt has nothing at all to do with the actual theme. (It was Sarah’s idea. But it was cute!)

Ain’t it purty?? AIN’T IT?

The stuff for our day date- an epic food fight!!
Okay, fun stuff aside. I’m seriously freaking out, y’all. Seriously. After that last little bit of drama, I couldn’t psyche myself up enough to ask Micah, I just couldn’t. I was too scared of rejection, because although it’s a nice idea, I don’t think I CAN ask him out, because what if the rumours are true? I know it’s dumb to take stock in those, but it’s kinda believable. Plus, even though I don’t have a crush on him, it would kinda hurt to be rejected. It’s hard asking boys out! So much harder than asking one to dance at a stake dance. So if he wants to ask me out, he can totally go ahead and do it, because I won’t complain. I think it would be fun. But he’s the one who’s gonna have to make a move this time, not me.
I whined about my dateless predicament to Jayme, and she tried to set me up with one of her friends, Cody- NOT clueless Cody. A different one. My first blind date- gah! So she tried to set us up, but in the end, I chickened out, because I was worried he wouldn’t like me at all.
So I decided on Chandler. It’s a safer gamble, and he lives closer, so carpooling becomes instantly easier! So as soon as I decided on him, I had to take action, and fast. So I got a brownie mix, a frosting tube, and gathered my wits- I was scared stiff. I whipped up the brownies with expert precision, however, adding some chocolate chips in for extra pizzazz. How could any man resist me now? I mean, come on! A full pan of brownies WITH CHOCOLATE CHIPS. (Please, please don’t be a diabetic. I would feel so bad.) So I got them out, shooed the kids away, and went to bed. I couldn’t deliver them yet- it was too late in the evening, you see.
This morning I got up, and was ready to deliver the brownies… After cleaning the house. I got it finished in enough time to do my makeup, and write the note (It would sure be “sweet” if you could go to Sadies with me on March 1st! Sorry this is such short notice- I’m a doofus, I know) before Sarah came over so we could go shopping for Sadies. We also had to ding-dong ditch Chandler’s house, so we loaded up in the car, and drove over to his place. Uh-oh. His dad was outside! Quick, drive awa- oh, dear. He’s coming over. It’s a good thing he’s so nice, otherwise I would totally be hyperventilating right now. So I gathered my wits, stepped out of the car, and smiled dazzlingly.
“Hey, Brother Cook! I, uh, have a pan of brownies for Chandler!” *nervous/hysterical giggle*
“Oh! Okay, I’ll make sure he gets ’em!”
“Thanks!” Then we sped away. As soon as we rounded the corner, however, a four-wheeler full of boys approached, with none other than…
Chandler, riding gallantly atop the vehicle.
I immediately flushed crimson and pointed him out ever-so-slightly to Sarah. Then we went to Wal-Mart, which was an adventure in and of itself entirely, and far too long to chronicle here. Needless to say, we got our shirts, got our soda, and jello, and got my debit cards denied in a fantastically humiliating episode of monetary failure. But I digress.
Now the waiting begins. I’m not good at waiting. Really, really not. And I don’t expect him to answer tonight, but I can’t help but startle at every little noise I hear, hoping it’s him. I’m just so worried he won’t be able to come!! Breathe, girl. Breathe. All will be well.


Life as a vegetarian so far.

So for Lent, I am officially a vegetarian! I didn’t think it would be hard, but…
Holy cow I was wrong. Oh. My. Word. How do people LIVE like this on a day-to-day basis? I mean, no turkey lunchmeat? Fine. I can do without. But having to take layer upon layer of roast beef out of your sub at lunch? Not fine, not in the least. Tonight was almost my undoing, however, because we had Panda Express.
And that meant Orange Chicken.
Oh, wowie, that is my favorite thing! It wasn’t too hard to pass up the first time around, but when I was cleaning up the food after dinner, I almost caved. I was SO CLOSE to just taking a tiny piece of the succulent chicken, and I reasoned that goals can be broken from time to time, when I stopped.
I did not make this goal to fail it! I did it because I knew it would be a challenge, and I knew I could do it! I am not weak, I am strong, and I WILL be a vegetarian for 40 days, and not any less. I am simply too stubborn-headed to let a simple craving control me! When I thought more about it, I felt extremely dumb for letting something as simple as food sway me- this is why I’m doing it, I guess. To show myself that I can do hard things and I will not let something as small as a main dish hold any power over me whatsoever. So while it can get excruciatingly difficult at times, I have enough stubbornness in me to make it! I’ll be a vegetarian until the bitter end.



Tonight, we played Iron Chef or whatever, where we got a secret ingredient and added it to spaghetti. We got cheez its. We decided to make meatballs and roll them in cheez it crumbs. All was well until we had to cook it, then things took a turn for the worse. We had to mash them up in order for it to fit in with the sauce, and due to the intense amount of raw meat inside the pot, we could not taste test it for fear of waking up some time later in the hospital with numerous IV’s and our mothers crying by our bedside as the doctor shakes his head sadly.
The suspicious concoction looked like this:

Like vomit in a pot. Ew, ew, ew. We kept faithfully stirring until it started bubbling madly and popping everywhere. I named it Meat Vesuvius. We decided to take it off the heat immediately and try again. It was a shame to waste all that food (especially since there are children starving in Africa), but we really had no choice in the matter. At that point, our hands were tied. We gave up and began a pleasant vegetarian sauce with cheez its. It ended up wonderfully, and we topped it off fancily, like so:

Significantly better. And I could actually eat it! I’m going off meat for Lent, in case you didn’t know. Which you probably didn’t, because I decided it today. Forty days of life as a vegetarian. I might die. Or lose weight. I’m hoping for the latter, honestly. Bathing suit season IS coming up, after all… Random tangent. Sorry.
Anywho, it was a fun, wholesome recreational activity, despite the fact that ISTILLHAVENOTFOUNDADATETOSADIES. THE STRESS NEVER ENDS.


The Sadies Situation

Today was going to be the day I would ask Cody to Sadies.
Today I had an anxiety attack.
Today I did not ask Cody to Sadies.
Why? Let’s just re-count the WHOLE thing, shall we?

Clever, isn’t it? Yes. It IS clever, despite the fact that I crossed out something that really didn’t need to be crossed out, it was the perfect plan. I’d put it in a plastic baggie,

Then placed it oh-so-delicately into a bowl half-full of ice, covered it in water, then popped it into the freezer, so it would be frozen in the middle.

It turned out brilliantly, if I do say so myself. It froze for the weekend, and then I prepared the next step in my master plan. Texting his mother. I got their address, got her all excited, got myself all excited, and then I made the little ice cubes with my name in them.

Meanwhile, while the letters were freezing, I took out my frustrations out on paper.

I decided I’d find out if Cody would be home all day, so I texted him and we had a great, marvelous, fun, and wonderful conversation until I asked him about his rehearsal schedule. Dun dun dun. He rehearses from Sunday-Thursday (SADIESISONATHURSDAY!!!), with the actual time of rehearsals from 7-10 pm (SADIESIS8-11!!!!) My heart sank, and I made a last-ditch effort to ask him. So I texted him desperately:
H: Sigh
C: Sigh?
H: I’m kinda frustrated
C: Why?
***This is where I took a leap of faith, putting it out on a limb***
H: I want to ask this guy to Sadies, but he’s intensely rehearsing for a play :^)
C: What’s Sadies?
Can we pause for a moment? Ahem- WHAT IS SADIES?!?! ARE YOU NUTS?! I JUST PUT MYSELF OUT THERE, PRACTICALLY TELLING YOU I WAS ABOUT TO ASK YOU OUT,  NOT TO MENTION HOW FLIRTY THAT WAS, AND YOU ASK ME WHAT IS SADIES?!?!  You have got to be kidding me. Boys are officially the stupidest creatures on Earth. I don’t know why I even try! Is it really that hard to pick up on a hint THAT OBVIOUS? REALLY??? I just put myself on a frickin’ limb here! And I flirted! How obtuse do you have to be before you miss blatant flirtation?? GAAAAAAHHH. I brushed it off and asked him how strict they were about missing a rehearsal. But before I even hit “send”, I knew the answer. It’s a pro company, so obviously they aren’t going to want to let him skip rehearsals, especially for a stupid dance. And honestly, I don’t want to make him miss a rehearsal. I don’t want to hurt his performance, but I still can only hope… It’s partially my fault, because I didn’t ask him sooner, but I can’t help but be upset. Even though I’m the real stupid-head here, I’m busy wallowing in self pity, and as we know, it’s hard to own up to your mistakes when it’s really much easier to blame it on dumb boys. So I promptly removed my ice cubes,

Expressed my feelings on paper once again,

And dumped out my bowl of beautiful ice in the dirt.

 It’s right next to an orange ping-pong ball- which is ironic, because that’s how my last date replied to me. Oh, cruel, cruel irony.

If you look closely, you can see dirt. Which is what happened to my plans. They are dirt now. Look even closer and you’ll see a crack, just like the crack in my broken little heart.

I know, I know, I’m being dramatic, but come on! I’m entitled to a little depression here and there. I was so excited!! GRR.

So I texted Sarah, bemoaning my fate as a dateless chick, and she lifted my spirits once again, reassuring me that yes, I could find a date! This evening would not have to be ruined! We discussed the benefits of asking Chandler, a cute boy in my ward, and eventually dismissed the idea as I don’t know him well enough. Then I had an epiphany-
I could ask Micah! 
Why not? We’re GREAT friends, we talk/tease each other all the time, and he makes me laugh so much! I think we could have a great time, I just hope he says yes. I’m not sure though, because he isn’t quite sixteen yet, and I heard that his family won’t let him date Mormons. But that’s only a rumour, so who knows how much truth that really holds? I hope it’s nothing, really, and that he CAN go, because how fun would that be?! So fun. And if he does say no, I can always ask Chandler. He’ll be my Plan C, and if not, I could ask Logan, or maybe Michael Thaxton. If all else fails there’s always Ray. But I’m counting on Micah.
A small portion of my being is still clinging to the shred of hope that, around midnight, he’ll come to his senses and realize what I was saying, and he’ll text me and let me know that he doesn’t have any rehearsals the first week of March, and then I will gleefully text back, saying how awesome that is, and we’ll skate happily ever after. But the chances of that happening are painfully low.
I’ll keep you posted.

high hopes and high notes.

Let’s face it, peeps, I am NOT the skinniest, petite-est girl you’ve ever met. Lame? Yeah, sorta. But is there an upside to this???
Friends, the Mesa Encore Theatre is doing Hairspray soon, and I don’t think you understand how badly I want to do it! I think I could be the PERFECT Tracy, don’t you think? Small, sassy, and stout. That’s how she is, that’s how I am. It’s the truth, don’t try to deny it- I am “huggable”, for lack of a better word (I know y’all would punch me if I dared to say the “F”  word (not THAT “f” word! Get your mind out of the gutter)), and, taking this fact in stride, I think I want to audition for her. I really, really want to! The problem is… What if I can’t sing her notes? What if they don’t think I’m puffy enough? What if I can’t dance?! And most of all, WHAT IF I GET THE PART?!
Now, being realistic, I know I probably won’t. But being me, I can’t stop myself from wanting to get that part. I’ve only been the main character once, I’d love to have that experience again. I’d get to sing as loudly as I wanted, I wouldn’t have to “rein in” my cute little rolls, and I’d get into a REAL theatre company! Not just Youth Theatre! I’m NOT saying Youth Theatre’s a bad thing, because that’s where I got nominated for a Zoni. I just want to see what’s out there, and see how far I can go in this whole theatre business. It’s something I want to continue for the rest of my life, and I’m good at it, I am.
Good golly gosh I want to be Tracy.
I just don’t know if they would let me in, because I’m so young. Plus I’m short. But would they really hold that against me? They didn’t with Kristin Chenoweth, and she’s a big star now. But I can’t help but wonder.
And suppose I did get the part… I would have to kiss somebody. Not stage kiss, really, truly kiss someone. I don’t know if I’m ready for that, especially since I’ve always envisioned my first kiss as being romantic, and something I had control over. Would I be willing to sacrifice that for the stage? Would I have a choice? I wonder if they’d let me wait a little bit for the kissing scenes, I mean, at least during blocking we’d fake-kiss or something until it got a little bit further into rehearsals. I’d want to get to know the dude I was going to kiss before our lips actually locked. And if I WAS cast as Tracy, who the heck would be Link? Would he be my age? Older? Younger? Would his breath smell like Hades? Roses? Listerine? Would he try to French me? If he did, I would make him sing Soprano faster than you could say “Corny Collins”.
GAH. I just hope I can actually audition. It’s pretty much my dream role. I’ll let you know more details soon, so keep your fingers crossed!!!!


Growing up

Tonight I picked up my first job application (I know at least one of you out there already has a job, but if I recall correctly you didn’t even have to apply. So shut up.), and it honestly weirded me out. For one, because I’m actually old enough now to apply for a job, and two, because I could have a real live job apart from babysitting- which is awesome, because I haven’t gotten a job in months. Geneal has pretty much officially taken over my post as babysitter extraordinaire- which is depressing. I usually LOVE babysitting! But I guess it’s all part of getting older. I’m picking up another application form tomorrow, so I can have two options.

I’m applying for Krispy Kreme’s, which was kinda random because I was not planning on looking into a job there, but my mom went there to get the doughnuts for report cards thingy and noticed they were hiring. So, she sent me in all by myself (yes, I wanted my Mommy in there with me to hold my hand. So sue me.), and I asked sweetly for a form. Then I flirted with the boy at the counter (which is totally legal, because HE flirted with ME first, and he was about my age. So there.), and picked up my application and went on my merry way.

Tomorrow I’m picking up an application at Bagel Nosh right next to my house. It’s this cute bagel shop that I’ve never been to, and to be honest, I’d rather work there. Why? It’s smaller, and closer to home. Plus, small-scale eateries just seem more my style. (I have a working “style”?) I can just picture myself in that place so much easier. I suppose I just like the cozy, small size of it, because it seems less threatening and I think the uniforms would probably be way cuter. Hey, uniforms are a big thing- I already have to wear an ugly one, I’d like a cute option for once.
I’m so freaked out about this! First driving, then dating, then jobs! GAH! Before you’ll know it I’ll have my license- which is something I want so badly I can taste. But I guess I have to get better at driving before that happens, so I don’t terrorize the tester-dude-person.
Or my dad.
Or me.
Back to the subject at hand.
I really, really, REALLY need a job, so I’m crossing my fingers that I get a shot at this- some extra pocket change would be nice, not to mention necessary. I’m hoping I could start ASAP so I have some actual money for Sadie’s (stay tuned- I’m going to ask him this weekend. Or Monday), and so I can start saving for my trip. And gas money, because I WILL get my license, eventually.
Random tangent- I can’t believe how far I’ve come since I started this humble blog. From Beehives and big dreams to Laurels, and working on those big dreams. I’m excited to see where else I’ll go from here!



I’m not gonna lie, this is my favorite holiday hands-down (which, come to think of it, is totally dumb, since usually it’s always sucked for me and I’ve pretty much never had a Valentine), and naturally, this year had my brain going like crazy, planning, planning, planning for what exactly I would do. I had the boy- I just needed to figure out what on EARTH I was going to do about it! So I began the stress/planning process, and came up with the CUTEST IDEA FOR A CARD EVER. May I present: his Valentine.

No, those are NOT grease stains. I kept his card in perfect condition, it’s just a smudge on the lens. And I am extremely put out that it is on its side like that! GRR.

How clever is THAT?? I wrote that quote down directly. I even Googled it to make sure the x’s and o’s were in proper order. I’m so thorough.

and in the corner, a note-paper heart with staples! Gosh I’m proud of this card. It’s just so darn cute!! I almost wish I’d made a copy for myself, but knowing that he has it makes it worthwhile. :^)
So here’s how my day went down:
Wake up, get dressed in most fabulous uniform ensemble ever concocted (I had to look cute! DUH.), head to school. Stress until almost insane over presenting him with his Valentine (teddy bear, chocolates, and the above mentioned card), worrying that I got too much, yadda yadda yadda. Hyperventilate. Almost jump out of skin when he shows up in between classes to give me my Valentine. Smile until cheeks hurt. Melt onto floor. Go to class.

Then lunchtime came, and things happened less automatically. I set up his presents all cute-like, then panicked and almost took everything save the card away, when it became too late. I avoided eye contact, (I’m a total idiot, I KNOW) and then he received his gifts. He reacted perfectly, I breathed a humongous sigh of relief, then tried unsuccessfully to eat my lunch. Turns out that being nervous all freaking day ruins your coordination. Who knew?

Then the rest of the day proceeded normally, interrupted by occasional bouts of delirious happiness (having a Valentine’ll do that to ya), and got called eight times in 36 minutes by a Restricted number- I have decided I have a creepy stalker, and can therefore go nowhere alone.
After school, I received a long, warm embrace from said Valentine, and floated home.

A fabulous day overall, and this has definitely been a success. Yay me!!


This boy.

Warm brown eyes, the longest, darkest lashes anyone could ever ask for, the softest, sweetest, kissable-est cheeks, the funniest sayings…

You could say I love him, I guess. I mean, how can you not? Here are some things I’m loving about my little Mr. Lincoln lately:

  • I got some FABULOUS boots from McKenzie yesterday, so this morning I was rocking them, and he noticed. This inspired a morning-long game of cowboy/cowgirl, where we defeated the aliens and saved all our cattle. It was a really fun way to get ready this morning. :^)
  • At dinner he always makes it a point to sit next to me, and I always make sure to tell him just how lucky I feel to get to sit next to him.
  • He holds my hand all the time. ♥♥♥
  • I was in the living room reading while he was playing Bop-It, and he looked up and said, “Can you please read in the next room?” “Why?” “Because I can’t hear the game”, he said, pointing to the Bop-It. Oookayy… Didn’t know I was reading in my head so loud, I guess! :^)
  • He called the ankle the “cheek of your foot” for a while.
  • Tonight he came up to me and said, “I really need a girl to play Just Dance with me… So, will you play with me? You’re a girl!” So we danced some duets, and that was the most fun thing I did today.
  • He’s my little superhero.
  • I know that even though other guys may break my heart, at the end of the day, my brother is always there, ready to give me a hug, a kiss on the cheek, and a smile. He calls me beautiful, and some days that’s what I really need to hear.
  • He’s so energetic in everything he does, it’s impossible not to want to join in with him with every bit as much enthusiasm. 
  • Whenever he’s frustrated he’ll say “Aw, nuts!!” and I swear it is the single most ADORABLE thing I’ve ever heard before. Seriously, folks. It’s H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S.

 So, yeah, he kinda has me wrapped around his finger. I would do anything for him, and I can’t express how much I just love this little guy. Even though I’m about eleven years older than him, sometimes I feel like he could be my older brother, the way he’s ready to protect and defend me. I hope we continue to be this close, because he is a light in my life. I love you eternally, Lincoln! Stay sweet.